I am standing at the bottom of the ladder again. The hand of Corporate Hierarchy is extended in offering. "Climb on up MARA , the view is great from up here!!"I have one foot on the step and the skill to keep on climbing, but one foot is planted firmly on the ground. I look up and consider my options, and then I hear: "Where are you going MOMMY ??"
I look down and see my children...the youngest holding on steadfast to my leg. I glance up at a ladder I worked my ass off to get on to, and take stock of exactly how many steps I have left to reach the top. I take my foot off the step and kneel down.
I look into their eyes and feel their childhood slip away, even as I sit here pondering my next move. This precious time so limited that I barely have time to register how quickly it's flying by. I grab each of their hands in mine and stand. The three of us look up. "Are you going up there now MOMMY. There is a moment of hesitation before I answer the only way my heart will allow, "No honey, Mommy is gonna stay down here a little while longer."
There is no easy solution to the family v.s. career debate. There is no way to rationalize without bias, and no answer without sacrifice. Time IS money, but money can't buy time. So I wait.
It looks like Mara will have to wait, Mommy is a little busy right now.
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